Thu. April 28, 2005
Not Again
I gotta tell you, this is getting frustrating. Every time I find a new, pretty young actress to fantasize about, she goes off and hooks up with some buff hollywood hunk. I mean, first it's Jennifer Garner getting engaged to Ben Affleck, now it's Katie Holmes shagging Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise Dating Actress Katie Holmes [ABC News.com].
There they are in Rome, holding hands. Too cute. Well, if I were a woman, I definitely would not throw Tom out of my bed. But Katie, you really shouldn't piss on the dreams of all your secret admirers!
Posted by glenn at Mon. April 18, 2005
The Party's Over
As "Dandy" Don Meredith used to sing to Howard Cossell, when Monday Night Football games were winding down, "the party's over, turn out the lights." MNF was an American institution, revolutionizing sports broadcasting and making football the real American religion.
But now, bowing to financial (and ratings) reality, it's gone. "Monday Night Football" Moving to ESPN [BusinessWeek]. The NFL realized that in today's media-centric world, Monday is the wrong night for a nationally televised, prime time game. ABC desperately wanted to keep "Desperate Houswives" on Sunday, so NBC takes over the Sunday evening slot and MNF moves to Disney's ESPN affiliate. (The eight-year deal is worth a reported $8.8 billion.)
It's the end of an era, but certainly not the end of the game. With the steroids controversy raging in baseball, the NBA in the doldrums and the NHL on strike, NFL football will be bigger than ever this fall and for years to come. George Will, eat your heart out.
Wed. March 30, 2005
Johnnie, We Hardly Knew 'Ye
Johnnie Cochran, O.J. Simpson's lead trial lawyer in the infamous L.A./Brentwood murder trial, died quietly last night of an inoperable brain tumor. Yes, he was gaudy, liked fancy suits, bling and publicity, and talked a lot (actually, an awful lot), but his closing statement in 1995 for O.J. was one of the best performances -- and by far the best televised closing argument -- by a trial lawyer ever. "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit." Wow! Listen for yourself.
Now O.J. is all alone in his quest to find the "real killers." It's so sad (NOT)! What's refreshing, however, is that -- despite his star-studded clientelle and amazingly high income -- Cochran always took on free legal cases for the disdvantaged, saying that his most rewarding efforts were in representing what he called the "No-J's." That's class and integrity, even if he did get a murderer off with flim-flam rhetoric and snake oil.
Fri. January 21, 2005
Banana Republic
Last evening on ABC's World News Tonight, commentator George F. Will said that the unprecedented security surrounding the presidential inauguration made America "look like a banana republic worried about a restive tank regiment at the edge of town. It was unworthy of the occasion." (Too bad they don't post transcripts on the ABC Web site.) It is really scary not only what 9/11 has done to liberty in America, but also that Will and I (once again) agree.
Mon. January 10, 2005
Rooney's Ass
Fox is refusing to air a commercial on the SuperBowl in which octagenarian Mickey Rooney -- in an ad for an over-the-counter cold remedy -- briefly shows his ass while in a sauna. Fox says that its "standards and development department" concluded that the commercial should be "deemed inappropriate for broadcast television." But that euphamism does nothing to disguise the simple fact that Fox is afraid of the FCC's unprincipled "indecency" campaign that started a year ago with Janet Jackson's "nipplegate" affair. That a major national broadcast television network cannot distinguish a breast from buttocks and titilation from advertisement is a sad testament to the terribly coercive media self-censorship resulting from the lack of any predictability to the FCC's politically motivated enforcement policies.
Tue. November 30, 2004
74 In a Row
So Ken "Jeopardy" Jennings, after dominating the TV game show hosted by Alex Trebek for $2.52 million over six months -- the biggest quiz show money winner in history -- finally lost. He's an amazingly smart guy, filled with obscure trivia, but he's become arrogant and mightingly annoying after 74-straight games of winnning. And most of the competitors matched against him wouldn't even ring their buzzers!!. So long, Ken! Take the money and run -- far away.
Sun. September 26, 2004
Fantasy is Reality
I have been playing fantasy football for more than 20 years, since long before the days of computerization and the Internet. Well, today I caught up with technology, following the Hungry Homers -- the fantasy team my son and I operate in an NFL-sanctioned fantasy league -- with Web-based, real-time scoring while watching all the games on DirecTV's NFL Sunday Ticket.
Way cool. Oh, the Homers lost by 16 points when our opponent scored four TDs in the late games. "On any given Sunday" is as true in fantasy-land as it is in real life.
Sun. July 4, 2004
Blood, Sweat and Gears
The Tour de France has started once again. It's a spectacle, an epic sports event and a social happening in France, and if you follow just a few days on cable's Outdoor Life Network you'll become hooked. So hop on, peddle like mad and enjoy these tremendously strong fellows biking around at an amazing 30+ miles per hour. Then have your domestique (support rider) send up a little musette (snack in a cloth bag) and you'll be able to settle in for all 23 days and 2,000 km [ESPN Glossary].
Tue. April 13, 2004
No News Conference
The president who has held fewer news conferences than any other president in the modern era goes on TV tonight to defend his Administration's handling of the Iraq reconstruction and the 9/11 attacks. Bush to Address Media Amid Iraq, Terrorism Scrutiny [CNN.com]. High stakes politics here.
Mon. March 29, 2004
TV Racked by Defection of Young Males
The television industry was shaken last October when the ratings from Nielsen Media Research showed that a huge part of a highly prized slice of the American population was watching less television. As the fall TV season began, viewership among men from 18 to 34 fell 12% compared with the year before, Nielsen reported. And for the youngest group of adult men, those 18 to 24, the decline was a steeper 20%. Leisure Pursuits of Today's Young Man [nytimes.com]
And of course this trend is changing the nature of entertainment itself. The prevalence of pornography online has helped to turn porn stars like Jenna Jameson and topics like masturbation into mainstream conversation among young adults. What seemed raw and bold in "Portnoy's Complaint" in the 1960s became fodder in the 1990s for sit-coms like "Friends" and hit movies like "There's Something About Mary." And many TV ads are looking more and more like Web sites, complete with pop-up menus and JavaScript rollovers.
But the bottom line is that the television industry, battered first by inroads from cable and satellite providers, then DVDs, now has to worry about the Internet taking its prime viewers -- those most demanded by advertisers -- away. A "30 share" used to be the norm on network television. Now not even the most popular reality series (whether "Survivor Tahiti" or "American Idol") can come close. The times they are indeed a changing, my friend.
Thu. February 12, 2004
Big Case, Little Quote
Well I spent eight hours in the federal appeals court in Philadelphia arguing yesterday against the FCC's deregulation of media ownership (like repeal of the ban on newspaper-television cross-ownership in local markets). The case led to a nice story in the New York Times by Steve Labaton -- Court Is Urged to Change Media Ownership Rules -- with a pungent little quote from yours truly. It's a hard job to capture the nuances of a full day's legal hearings in a single article, but I think Steve has done quite a good job here.
Tue. February 3, 2004
The Breast Superbowl Ever
After Sunday's brilliant Superbowl game, all anyone wanted to talk about Monday was the half-time show, in which Justin Timerblake ripped off part of Janet Jackson's leather bodice. The NFL, CBS and even the FCC all expressed their "shock" and "outrage." But this is nothing compared to the stuff shown on television every day, especially in music videos. Drop the Outrage, Bra-Play Was Blasé [TheStar.com]. What is it about two seconds of skin that has everyone so worked up? Personally, I found the repreated ads for erectile dysfunction drugs -- including one warning about the dangers of a four-hour erection -- much more tasteless and inappropriate.
Fri. December 19, 2003
What A Day
I was watching World News Tonight on ABC last evening, and could not help but notice the tremendous diversity and importance of the stories in the news these days. The intelligence consequences of Saddam Hussein's capture for infiltrating the Iraqi resistance (and vice-versa), two rulings by US courts declaring unconstitutional the detention of US citizens, and foreign captives at Guantanamo, as "enemy combatants" without due process, the conviction of Lee Malvo (the teenage Washington sniper) for terrorism-murder and rejection of his insanity defense, the indictment of Michael Jackson for child sexual molestation, and a new strategy of "disengagement" from the Palestinians by Israel in response to the collapse of the Bush "Road Map" to peace.
Those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head. December 18, 2003 may not be a day to live in infamy, but with some more like this the world is going to continue to be a very exciting -- and dangerous -- place
Wed. October 1, 2003
Gore TV Redux
As reported here three months ago, former Democratic presidential candidate -- and totally superficial, unprincipled political bore -- Al Gore is indeed committed to starting his own cable TV network. Former VP In Talks To Buy Cable News Channel [yahoonews.com].
Gore says he wants to counter the pundits on Fox and other conservative networks, but all he'll end up doing is further tarnishing the fading star of liberalism in America. Where is Ariana Huffington when we really need her? Let's have some more profiles in spinelesness with which she's lambsted the quivering cowards who make up today's Democrats. Al, we hardly need thee!!
Tue. September 23, 2003
Desperate Disney?
Tim Goodman, TV critic for the San Francisco Chronicle, says that ABC (owned by Disney & Co.) is a "desperate and clueless network" for continuing the "8 Simple Rules" sitcom starring the late John Ritter. One Simple Rule: Don't Support ABC's Cruelty. Goodman writes that
Well and truly correct. But the current episodes are in the can and one can hardly blame ABC for trying to salvage their leading show. I suspect the new scripts will more likely be almost a tribute to Ritter, and a reminder of the fragility of life, than a maudlin effort to reap returns from his sudden passing. At least one can hope.
Mon. September 15, 2003
K Street
I missed last night's premiere and the party Friday evening at The Palm across from my downtown office. 
And my wife sadly missed seeing George Clooney in the flesh. Yet HBO's new series about political lobbyists is probably as realistic as ER or Law and Order -- entertaining, but hardly close to the real world. HBO's 'K Street,' In Uncharted Territory [washingtonpost.com]. Still, it will be interesting to see James Carville and Mary Matalin playing themselves in a fictional setting. One could argue that's what they do for a living anyway!!
Another One Bites the Dust
John Ritter, television comedian and star of ABC's "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter," died last week from an undetected heart ailment that caused a massive tear in his aorta. [ABCNews.com]. Also star of the 1970s-era "Three's Company" a generation ago, Ritter had a talent for delivering hilarious lines with absolutely no affect and specialized in gender-related comedy. And his comeback last year was massive. More than 25 million people tuned in to the 2002 debut of 8 Simple Rules to see Ritter's return to TV comedy. It was ABC's largest audience in the time slot with a sitcom since the debut of Roseanne in Fall '88. The network, of course, cynically says that the current show -- the top sitcom in ABC's line-up -- may not be cancelled. Well, maybe "the show must go on," but Tuesday nights will not be the same, that's for sure.
Thu. June 19, 2003
Gore TV
Al Gore is apparently mad at conservative talk show hosts and wants to start his own liberal television network. Gore, Enter Stage Left? This quip by Fox is a particularly good rejoinder:
Hey, bad enough that he's on Apple's Board of Directors. Now we're going to be bombarded with "Gore TV"? Not on my screen, Mister!
Wed. June 18, 2003
The Moose Is Loose
Moose Resigns as Montgomery Police Chief [washingtonpost.com] During the Washington sniper crisis of October 2002, Charles Moose, Mongomery County police chief, became a media star with his daily press briefings, especially his coded communications to the snipers. Then the County ethics board nixed his contract to write a book, saying it is unethical for a public employee to "profit" individually from his official duties.
What a bunch of crap. These sorts of things have been going on for decades, from Vincent Bugliosi and the Tate-Labianca (Charles Manson) murders to Marcia Clark and the O.J. Simpson trial. It's a little different from "Son of Sam" laws, that confiscate royalties earned by convicted murders on books about their crimes. And the consequence here is that the public has lost a valued career officer. Bad result.
Mon. June 16, 2003
24 Hours of French
This weekend in France, Bentley won the 24 Hours of Le Mans for the first time in 73 years. 
Although only a few Americans watched television coverage of the race on Speed Channel, nearly half of the cars entered were from the United States. Coupled with renewed interest in the Tour de France after Lance Armstrong's record-setting performances of recent years, does this mean that Americans like to play with the French, but not watch them? Maybe it's just continued resentment from France's opposition to the War in Iraq, but you've got to wonder wether the drop in Parisian tourism is related to the abysmal TV ratings for these French sporting events -- where American athletes and teams shine.
Fri. April 11, 2003
The TV War
All War, All The Time. What began as a fascinating experiment in real-time war television turned into a lesson in repetion, drudgery and superficiality. At least until the fall of Baghdad. As New York Times critic Charles McGrath observes:
The Iraq War, in short, was basically a TV bomb!!